Friday, October 21, 2011
NUMB
That's my life right now. I feel like I am falling and I can't get up.... but also.... I'm starting not to care anymore.... Learning to move on and possibly forget.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Under Pressure.... Pretty much my life right now.
"Cause love's such an old fashioned word, And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves."
Seriously this lyric in this song is absolutely amazing. It totally describes the way I am thinking right now. I am so down right now with everything going on. Work is just super stressful and my friend and family aren't making it any easier on me. I am trying my best and trying to do everything that I can but honestly, it never seems good enough.
There is this kid at work, he seriously has some issues with his family and in his life. Well at work the other day I was completely depressed about something my brother came in to tell me. It completely ruined my day. Well this boy was all questioning me about what was wrong. Why was I so depressed. He then went to tell me how could you, Alyssa Miss perfect life, be so depressed when I actually have more stuff going on in my life.... honestly.... that pissed me off to no end.
I was like really? This facade I put on for everyone and make them think that everything is okay when its not gets tiring. I am tired of pretending that I am okay. I am tired of all the stress and pressure I am going through. I am tired of people looking at me and saying oh what could Alyssa possibly be going through that can be any worse then whats going on with me.
Yes. You're life might be rough, you're life might be worse off then mine is... but I am a person and I do have issues as well. I am sorry I cannot put on this face 100% of the time. I am so tired of this pressure of everything. I would just a little bit of slack.....
I'm sorry.....
Seriously this lyric in this song is absolutely amazing. It totally describes the way I am thinking right now. I am so down right now with everything going on. Work is just super stressful and my friend and family aren't making it any easier on me. I am trying my best and trying to do everything that I can but honestly, it never seems good enough.
There is this kid at work, he seriously has some issues with his family and in his life. Well at work the other day I was completely depressed about something my brother came in to tell me. It completely ruined my day. Well this boy was all questioning me about what was wrong. Why was I so depressed. He then went to tell me how could you, Alyssa Miss perfect life, be so depressed when I actually have more stuff going on in my life.... honestly.... that pissed me off to no end.
I was like really? This facade I put on for everyone and make them think that everything is okay when its not gets tiring. I am tired of pretending that I am okay. I am tired of all the stress and pressure I am going through. I am tired of people looking at me and saying oh what could Alyssa possibly be going through that can be any worse then whats going on with me.
Yes. You're life might be rough, you're life might be worse off then mine is... but I am a person and I do have issues as well. I am sorry I cannot put on this face 100% of the time. I am so tired of this pressure of everything. I would just a little bit of slack.....
I'm sorry.....
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Well now, Europe was amazing...
So its been a while since I've been on this thing. I actually forgot I even had it haha.
Well I just got back from Europe a week and a half ago and can I just say... Seriously the best time I've had in my life. I met so many new people made tons of new friends. I can't believe that its already over. For months and months I have been saving, talking about it to my friends and when it finally comes, it goes by so quick! It was totally worth it though. I tried so many new things that I would have never done before. I learned that I need to just live life and not hold back. It was just so beautiful over there and the pace of life was just way slower then it is in America. When I got back last week, I know this is gonna sound stupid, but I was seriously depressed to be back. But going through the pictures just reminds me of how awesome it was and how all good things must come to an end and unfortunately, it ended a bit to soon for me.
I miss all of my new friends. All the adventures we had were epic! Michael, Sarabeth, Stephanie, Nathaniel, and Blaine... I swear we had the most fun out of the whole group. Hopefully soon we can get the gang back together and just catch up.
Well I just got back from Europe a week and a half ago and can I just say... Seriously the best time I've had in my life. I met so many new people made tons of new friends. I can't believe that its already over. For months and months I have been saving, talking about it to my friends and when it finally comes, it goes by so quick! It was totally worth it though. I tried so many new things that I would have never done before. I learned that I need to just live life and not hold back. It was just so beautiful over there and the pace of life was just way slower then it is in America. When I got back last week, I know this is gonna sound stupid, but I was seriously depressed to be back. But going through the pictures just reminds me of how awesome it was and how all good things must come to an end and unfortunately, it ended a bit to soon for me.
I miss all of my new friends. All the adventures we had were epic! Michael, Sarabeth, Stephanie, Nathaniel, and Blaine... I swear we had the most fun out of the whole group. Hopefully soon we can get the gang back together and just catch up.
It's amazing to me to think that I have finally lived out one of my dreams, to go to Europe. The experience alone was something that I would not trade in the world. Not a day goes by where I don't laugh about something stupid that was said or done. Thank you Blaine, Sarabeth, Michael, Stephanie and Nathaniel for making this dream of mine surpass anything I could even imagine. You guys are amazing and thanks for the laughs and the good times. The wolf pack will be reunited! :)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Something new....
So, I am kinda new at this so bear with me. I am not one to show my emotions very clearly but some reason I figured this would be a good idea to put my thoughts down on to "paper". Well my name is Alyssa and I am currently a student at CSUSB. I go to school full time and work full time, so in the nutshell, I don't have a life. Haha
Today was an interesting day, I finally approached my boss about somethings that have been concerning me for thee last couple of weeks. Luckily she was very appreciative and understood everything that I was saying. I am not one to put my emotions out there and speak out for myself so luckily I had my good friend Stephanie near me to help me with what was needed to be said.
Stephanie is my wonderful friend that I met at work. She is so cool and I am totally stoked that I get to go to Europe with her this summer! Who would of thought? Me, Alyssa, finally going to Europe. It has seriously been a huge dream of mine. This opportunity presented itself and I was like yes! I will go. I cannot believe that I get to finally make this dream come true.. *sigh*.....
Just thinking about it makes me giddy.... Well I'm not exactly sure how this whole blog thing goes but I am tired and gonna head to bed so thanks for reading, if there is anyone out there. This is a story of just some girl out there who is just trying to find her place in this world.
Today was an interesting day, I finally approached my boss about somethings that have been concerning me for thee last couple of weeks. Luckily she was very appreciative and understood everything that I was saying. I am not one to put my emotions out there and speak out for myself so luckily I had my good friend Stephanie near me to help me with what was needed to be said.
Stephanie is my wonderful friend that I met at work. She is so cool and I am totally stoked that I get to go to Europe with her this summer! Who would of thought? Me, Alyssa, finally going to Europe. It has seriously been a huge dream of mine. This opportunity presented itself and I was like yes! I will go. I cannot believe that I get to finally make this dream come true.. *sigh*.....
Just thinking about it makes me giddy.... Well I'm not exactly sure how this whole blog thing goes but I am tired and gonna head to bed so thanks for reading, if there is anyone out there. This is a story of just some girl out there who is just trying to find her place in this world.
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